April 17, 2011
-
16.
I found this short story I wrote when I was 16:
“This is something I have to do!” Clarence said. His arms held tight to the wall behind him.
“Clarence you don’t have to do anything,” his mother was calling from down below. She rolled her eyes after stating this, it seemed as though she was more worried with him being idiotic than in danger.
Clarence opened his eyes then, I could see it. He looked determined. Not just determined, but confident. It was as though he was a giant waterfall flowing powerfully, and with every time he blinked his eyes, the water, was crashing on the surface.
I only saw something like this once before. Not to the exact moments. I’m talking more about the feeling, that determination (confidence). It was 5 or 6 years back, it was my 3rd month on the job. It was a hold-up; a hostage situation. The gas station on 43rd. That’s where it was. This guy wasn’t nervous.
I’ve never been to the Dead Sea. I’ve only read about it. But from the shore it’s calm, it’s at ease. Small tiny waves tap the ground, there’s no such thing as crashing out there. But yet, inside there is killing, feasting, and breeding going on, all kinds of life inside a DEAD Sea. That’s confidence. That day on the 4-hour stand off I saw the Dead Sea in his eyes.
I’m not saying I see the Dead Sea in Clarence’s eyes too, I’m just saying Clarence is going to do what Clarence is going to do.
I couldn’t say anything, it is my job and I could not say a word. Clarence’s eyes held me.
I didn’t see when his hands let go of the wall, or when he bent his knees. I’ve only seen what everyone else who saw it on the news saw. Well at the least the beginning.
I head the gasp and that’s when I looked. He was in the sky, eclipsing the sun. His shadow covered most of my face. His mother was tugging on my shoulder, now finally worried there is some danger. I blinked. When I opened my eyes I swore I saw him with wings.
For that instance he was an angel. A confident, determined, beautiful, eclipsing angel. Then he blinked. I swore I felt one of his tears. I blinked. Then I had the urge to check behind me.
There was nothing any of us could do. Clarence’s mother, I, the President, God or even Clarence himself. Nothing, it was already written out. The angel, Clarence, fell and everyone a believer who witnessed him. A believer of something. And then we blinked.
