March 27, 2011
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Boxing.
Alright. What’s going on?
Worcester Magazine, are you serious? I feel like I’m watching “The Fighter” right now. Jeremy is Christian Bale’s character, strung-out, disgusting, seedy and just plain sad. And the Worcester Magazine staff are Melissa Leo’s character. They love him no matter what, no matter how pathetic and sorry his existence is.
A). I’m sorry that I felt I shouldn’t train with my enemy:
Jeremy decides to cut his training short tonight for two reasons. His trainer, Jimbo Isperduli, doesn’t show up—and neither does Shaun Connolly, who was supposed with spar with him. Shaun may have written a scathing trash-talking blog post last week, but I’m not buying it. He chickened out! He may not have said he chickened out, but we all know that fear is the only possible explanation. So, Shaun, are you going to put your money where your mouth is? Are you going to fight our champion before the big day? Your move.
I don’t want to kick his ass in front 6 people in a dingy gym. I’d much rather watch him breathe his last breaths in front of everyone at the Palladium.
B). I also didn’t know he was a “champion.” What’s he a champion of? Listening to the top 10 list on Pitchfork.com? Making love to his own crappy stories? Being a “good” boyfriend?C). Why did I chicken out?
D.) What’s this trite “money where your mouth is” line? I didn’t think there was any money riding on this? If there is money put down on this I feel forced to go to the authorities about this. Because as we all know, gambling is one of the greatest shadows in the sport of boxing. And I don’t think this is the kind of PR your fine “magazine” would want to have.
So now that its my move, let’s talk. I have been vigorously coaching my school’s baseball team and training on my own with them. There are two players on the team that also box and have been giving me pointers. The fitness side of things, I know I’m already stronger. The athletic side of things, watching Jeremy do anything but walk is like watching an epileptic on Dancing With the Stars. As far as heart, I have said this before I will be fighting with the entire Heart of the Commonwealth in my chest. I’m not scared, in the least. Am I confident? Absolutely. Am I humble? Hell no.
Jeremy. I hate you with every last fiber in my body. I am going to beat you so bad I will look anti-Semitic*.
*Note* I am not anti-Semitic.
