November 13, 2010
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Sub.
So as I have mentioned I am now the building substitute for a Worcester Public School. And it is perfect for me now, the hours, the kids, the reward, the pay, material!
Its great. I’ve made great friends with some of the teachers and student teachers there and have been able to build some great relationships with the students there as well.
The kids are hilarious. Whether on kid pretends to be Swahili and another interprets for him during the entire class for another sub he’s not a fan of, well because, she’s not me. Or the fact that almost every scrawny kid in this school happens to have a personality that incapacitates even the biggest of athletic stars, or Glenn Beck. Or all of the English as a Second Language students who think its so cool when I catch them calling me an idiot teacher or a loser and then ask them if “Tienes chicle?” (“You have gum?”) Or even when a kid is just able to catch you in your own teacher bullshit. Case in point:
A student who we’ll call Tom was swearing his head off and demanding that I take his worksheet away from him. I ask him why is he behaving this way and why would I take the worksheet away. He responds brilliantly, “This worksheet will not be graded, you don’t care what it says and this is just wasting my time.”
I swear to you the teacher wrote in the Sub Folder that this worksheer meant nothing and it wouldn’t be graded but to collect it at the end. The subtext was to make the kids believe it was going to be worth a damn. Tom caught on. He may not be in honors, but the kids smart.
I have to share this with you. And I hope my supervisor’s aren’t tech savvy, but I swore for the first, and I hopefully the last time in class. This kid was throwing papers in the trash like they were basketballs. I obviously told him to stop that. He then start shooting them towards my desk for the day. I let four or five of them land on or around me and then I just gave him my best teacher face and said, “Don’t fuck with me.” The kid didn’t know what to do and just sat down. Effective, but not the right kind of effective.
Lastly I have a strange contingent of girls who clearly have crushes on me. Its typical a friend of mine, who is one of the student-teachers has a girl in his class that calls him “sugarplum.” There’s another student-teacher who found out a student of hers recieved a office detention for talking about how he was checking out her ass. So there are this little group that all giggle and say hi to me constantly. Whenever I have them in class now I make sure to fart loudly, pick my nose, burp, pick wedgies and just be the grossest proffesional possible. Because, well, jail isn’t for me.
