September 12, 2010
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CHAT.
I have subjected myself to Facebook chat.
I guess that’s what a crush does.
In light of this I want to have a long overdue Q&A with my brain:
ME: Thanks so much for this one, you’re tough to get a hold of.
BRAIN: You’re welcome. I’m shaking my leg now.
M: What?
B: I’m now biting my nails on my right hand. It’s the way I control your ADHD.
M: Interesting. You don’t announce all the other fucked up thoughts going on?
B: No. Shaking my leg again. If I announced everything I wouldn’t have a voice box.
M: You don’t.
B: What?
M: Erm, how is everything holding up?
B: The alcohol is getting to you.
M: What?
B: You’re drinking is effecting our fantastic memory.
M: I don’t drink that much.
B: Says you.
M: Yeah, says I.
B: You used to be able to meet 50 people in a room and remember at least their first name and something about them.
M: I proved it many a time.
B: Now we can’t remember a main character in The Wire.
M: I eventually got it, Avon Barksdale.
B: But we usually spit that out like tobacco in a NASCAR fan’s mouth.
M: You see? It goes towards stupid metaphors like that.
B: You just insult yourself when you insult me.
M: Okay so what’s been on you lately?
B: Car payments, how to get a job, where should we get a job, will I be fulfilled in said job, our family, our missing tooth, how easy is it to get to W. Hartford, “The House of the Blue Leaves,” our apartment, Joe Gorman, boners…you know the usual.
M: A lot. It’s been crazy.
B: It’s under control, playing with the gap in our tooth.
M: I don’t feel too stressed.
B: I don’t feel too stressed.
M: How do you feel?
B: Giddy. Tapping fingers on the table.